Okay, so I may have used a Black Key's song as the title for this post. But hey, it feels right.
If you'd asked me at the beginning of the week what I am sure of, my reply would have been meek and fickle. Filled with little certainty and an abundance of disdain.
I've been questioning a lot of what surrounds me and it's done little but place seeds of doubt in my mind. And we all know doubt is a seed that doesn't need much attention to grow.
I'd been thinking I was around the wrong people, doing the wrong thing, seeing the wrong view.
My place was something I couldn't see.
I felt heavy with the weight of love. My headspace had been sacrificed to what I knew and what I assumed to be balanced.
It wasn't until later in the week, after seeing a few old, but familiar, faces I realised that where I am, the people that surround me, what I'm doing is balanced and right for me.
A weed tried to grow next to my tree of doubt this week, it tried to change my mind, it was working against me and working with the tree.
But the two can't live peacefully. They can't survive. The garden will rot and eventually burn out.
So I decided to cut them both. The branches, the trunk, the roots.
New ground has been laid. It's vibrant and ready to home greater ideas, feelings, muses.
It's right because I can't be everything to everyone, I can't be everywhere, see everything in one go.
It's right because when the weight of love becomes to much, you have to cut a few branches, plant some stronger seeds.
When the weight of love becomes heavy, you must let go.