Sunday 27 September 2015

Forecast


It's cold. And silly me is sat outside.

I'm writing outside today, with my notebook perched on crossed legs and my pen soon to run dry because I'm hoping to write about the sky and what it may hold.

12 isn't too cold, but I feel my body is still acclimatised to the warmth of a summer spent in Italy.

I yearn for it. 
To do it all over again. 
Longer days and warmer nights. 
Anonymity when I needed it. 
An array of wine just waiting to be picked from the shelves before my eyes. 

The blue sky that roofs my troubled head speaks otherwise. It shines a soft turquoise, reminding me that winter beckons.

There are ripe, dark clouds balancing above. Fiercely mastering the tango between one another.
Prompt and ready to erupt. 
They howl the warning of a storm. On land. Over sea. And in my mind.

I sense there's difficulty to come.
As the storm roars around me calmness will be key.
And patience is a necessity. Patience that runs through my veins can't be left short.

When the evening arrives, I must remember that it is the devil's hour. And he will reek havoc.
I have to wait until morning to reveal myself again. I will wait until morning to observe and participate amongst the sky once more.

And so it will start again.
Watching and waiting, with patience, as the sky dances around me. 

Thursday 3 September 2015

A Feared Entry


"I've learnt some important lessons this week.

- If you don't hold energy, be calm.
- Absorb before you react.
- Whisky and coke is not nice.
- Free ice cream tastes amazing.
- Letting go of people that damage your presence is a good thing.
- You won't always get 100% from everyone.

In truth, I realise they sound like fairly obvious life lessons. But this week, they took me by surprise.

By the middle of the week, I couldn't see past my own bubble.
And that felt lousy.

I was show that often I expect too much and become blind to my own efforts.

Without warning, I became lost in other's success and my own self-perceived inadequacy.

Towards Friday, I over shared my own stories after too much rum and felt a heavy pang of regret the next. I was encased in my own naivety and thus, sought consolidation in too many cups of coffee.  
It all became a little tragic.

However now, after much self-criticism, I'm letting this sea of crazy wash by. I'm watching as the tide rolls out.
Gracefully.

I'm currently en route to a close friend's new venture. A place he's finally thought highly of. He's doing better now, he's successful in his own right, and will continue to be.
And that, makes me more proud than anything.

I won't be scared of other's success. I'll embrace it.

And hope these successes bring me more free ice cream.

It feels good to write freely again."

Tuesday 1 September 2015

Dear September...


You've been a long time coming.

And I'm glad you're here.

September, you bring brisker mornings and auburn tinted leaves. 
It's the start of a new season.

For you. And for me.